I am addicted to pain relievers
My hurt and depression runs deep and I want to numb the pain
The problem with pain relievers though; they do not heal, they only numb or dull the pain temporarily
They do not heal
Pain relievers take many forms - most of mine are actions: eating/food, cooking, cleaning, chores. Things to occupy time and space so there's no time for the pain - no time to notice that no one else notices the gaping wounds
I am bandaged by sandwiches, stitched up by cooking dinner for my family, doing laundry or cleaning the bathroom is my crutch
I am losing sleep lately with worry - my family doesn't talk to me, include me, reach out to me and I wonder who these people are? That contact me when they have problems or need prayer but do not see me.
The pain relievers of today are no longer doing their job - they're not enough anymore and I am not healed.